Sunday, January 29, 2012

Keeping Myself Distracted

James deployed over two months ago now.  I have purposefully kept myself as busy as possible in hopes of distracting myself from missing him.  I feel that I've done a fairly good job of this so far even though there are times when I can't keep from having a little breakdown.  

When people ask how I'm doing since James left, I typically reply with "I'm fine, he'll be home before I know it".  I tell people this because if I really stop and think about it, I will end up in tears.  To be completely honest, I am doing fine and I do know that the time will fly by but there are still moments that are unavoidable, that I miss him so much and just wish I could hold him in my arms.  Last time James was gone for nine months total but at that time James and I weren't married and living together.  I knew this time would be different, going from spending every day together to none at all.  It amazes me that after 8 1/2 years, I still am able to love him more and more with every passing day.  I am so thankful James has the opportunity to call most nights and send Facebook messages, emails, and even Skype on occasion.  I don't know how couples dealt with only being able to send letters back and forth with no other avenue of communication.  

God has blessed me with friends and family who have helped me succeed with keeping busy.  I know I sound like a crazy cat lady when I say this but I also don't know what I would do without my cats, Smokie and Bandit.  It's crazy how they know when I am upset, and they comfort me.  Two nights ago I was crying and Bandit (our semi evil cat) licked the tears off my face and curled up with me all night long.    

This is Bandit, the semi evil cat.

I'm sitting here trying to think of the exciting things I have done since James left, the people and events that have kept me busy over the past two months.  Of course I was able to spend a lot of time with family throughout the holiday season.  There are five other things that come to mind.  

1.  My sister-in-law Emily and her husband Nathan just purchased a house so I got to help them paint a few rooms and move them in.  It's so exciting to see Emily, Nathan and Rosie in a house where they can expand their family one day.

2.  Tara taught me how to crochet.  I have wanted to learn how to do this for a long time but for some reason when I tried to learn the first time, years ago, I really struggled with just using one crochet hook rather than two knitting needles.  I was meaning for this hat to fit an adults head but you can see by the photo that it is meant for a child's head, so my little sister ended up with an extra Christmas gift. :-) Now I can check "learn to crochet" off my bucket list....I never said the crochet project had to turn out exactly as planned.


3.  I've always had a fascination with wanting to learn how to fix cars and wanting to learn the skill of carpentry.  The reason I haven't attempted either of these things before is that I don't want to break a nail....not because I'm a girly girl, just because I have to keep my nails nice for work.  This month, with my brother Jon, I learned how to replace a slave cylinder on an Eclipse.  It's amazing how something so small can stain your nails so badly.  It was worth it.  I will have to save carpentry for another day.

4.  I spent New Years Eve on Fourth Street in Louisville with my mom, dad, and brother Jon.  Even though it was killing me not to be with James that night, it was nice to be with my family.  It was the first New Years I spent with both of my parents together that I have any recollection of.  I just wish my older brother Joe could have been there as well....and Micki of course.  :-)   The street was packed and a live band was playing.  They even had a ball drop at midnight.  I would highly recommend New Years on Fourth Street. Just know that every bar is a $30 cover.... restaurants are free.


5.  I got my Concealed Carry License!  I went shooting several times, then took my classes with Jensine and Jamie at Woodhill Training which I would highly recommend.  They made the classes interesting.  I was expected something like drivers ed where you just sit and read from a book for 8 hours straight.  It was not like that at all.  They set you up in different scenarios where you are getting money out of an ATM when someone confronts you.  Sometimes you got attacked, sometimes he just asked for the time.  Every situation was different so it was interesting to see how everyone responded to the scenarios.  You also have to shoot 30 rounds at the class. Some of the people who attended had never shot before which meant that they needed a lot of help.  The shooting portion was very structured.  You had to load for first clip and wait for further instructions.  Once you shoot your first 10 rounds, you are asked to load your next clip.  Halfway through my second clip, the instructor asked me to run in place while shooting.  Still made every shot well within the target.  Jensine and Jamie did the same.

Now I just need to figure out what to do these next four months.  :-)

1 comment:

  1. I loving your blog so far Jenn! Keep on writing!